'cause you don't know , that's why .

i wish i knew how i really wanted to feel ,
'cause i'm currently caught in between all my billions of emotions .

& i just can't seem to figure them out right ,
which emotions to use in which time and all ?

life seems to be so complicated in every way , no ?

everything is happening in the wrong time ,
why now ? why happen ?

it's all about to fall apart soon ,
i can sense it .

& my prediction's are always right when things like this happens .

everything feels so insecure now ,
i guess i'm just..

LOST , again .

x.



there won't be any birthday celebrations this year , so stop asking .
& NO why' s please and thank you !

i know i'll regret , but i don't want sleepless night thinking of who to invite/how to make it a memorable day . it's not gonna be worth remembering if someone's gonna ruin it like every other birthday's i had .

i'm gonna receive tons of lame excuses , thinking of a bunch of reasons not to be there . saying it's too far , that they go out too often & their parents out of no where decided not to let them attend my birthday etc . etc . etc . i've heard them all before , every single year . you gotta do better than that to pull it off , you better think of something good to cover up the lie/excuse reason . that is if i suddenly changed my mind and decided to celebrate and you were invited although i know you'll be the one who doesn't wanna be there :)

2 things holding me back ,

1 . i've got band practice that day .
2 . both suemay & renee wouldn't be able to make it .

so tell me , why should i bother again ?

i hope everyone forgets my birthday , & it could just be like every other day of the year .
'cause it doesn't matter , i wish i could get over with it already .