You don't have to hold on to the pain , to hold on to the memory .

Suprisingly , i'm alive :)

So hi , i'm still sick & have been thinking lately , but hey life goes on no matter what whether you like it or not right ? When your sick , you're tired and when you're tired you feel depressed and when you're depressed you feel like giving up and when you feel like giving up you'll be wondering and when your wondering , anything can happen :)

EVER THOUGHT OF SUICIDAL ?

I have , not because i think my life is miserable and i want to die just to end it . Heck no ! but because im curious , i'm curious of how life would be without me . They say people would tend to appreciate you more when you're gone , is this true ? Mhmmmm , interesting :) Being absence from school , i noticed that everyone would say the same thing : " it's so quite without you yesterday . " Oh great , so i'm playing the roll of noise in life ? LOL .

Oh , don't get me wrong ! Suicidal is the last thing that would come to my mind in my ways to die , not saying that i want to die . It's one of the most stupid ways ever to die , no ? I mean , if i were to die , i would like it to happen in my dreams , silent , without pain , lovely & sweet . Committing suicide is just pain and stupid , i mean you go to hell for that and woah , you suffer even more there ! So why on earth would people commit suicide ? I don't get it .

Oh crap , i sound like some psycho maniac O.O

Anyways , moving on . I actually got the " inspirations " from wen yee's facebook status . She said - don't just slit your wrist deep enough to cause a scar just to get attention intentionally but just jump down from the building and get it done with .

I THINK IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE LORH (!!)

But still , suicidal is just wrong ! It such a burden to suicide , you have to prepare things for instincts if you want to hang yourself on a fan you need to find a chair to stand on and than find the guts to hang yourself same goes for taking pills you need to force yourself to swallow them with water isn't it just so freaking troublesome ? Jumping off a building sounds like it's so easy but hey let's see you jump down when your actually way up high above the ground wondering why the heck am i doing this ? And put it this way , you'll be buried in pieces since you'll probably brake every single bone that you have . That's disgusting , eww -.-

I just hope i know none of those who would think of killing themselves , what a disgrace much . Your parents brought you up just to see you throw your life away , what a stupid thing to do . Despite that there's tons of other living being struggling to keep themselves alive or those who had to say bye to life unwillingly and here you are thinking of all sorts of ways to die just because you think it would solve everything when actually your creating an even bigger problem .

Conclusion ? There's no conclusion , i just typed this out for fun . I hope i educated you (Y) Hahahahah , coughs .

Well , here's another random thought . Can't blame me , all i've been doing lately is think ! Hey , it's a free country . I'm not paying you to read neither am i holding a knfie next to your neck right ? :P

WHAT IF FAIRY TALES WENT WRONG ?

What if cinderella never fits in the glass slipper and her evil stepsisters/god mother isn't that bad after all or snowwhite never bit that poison apple but a grape instead or dwarfs are big , tall and ugly or prince charming isn't charming at all or princesses looked like frogs or little mermaid got eaten by a shark ?

What if sleeping beauty woke up 'cause she was faking it all the while and she got bored of it or fairy's used wooden broom sticks instead of wands and witches were retarded instead of evil or aladdin found a magic flower instead of a lamp with a ginnie in it ?

Does it mean that there won't be any happy ending or a dreams do come true any more ? Mhmmmmmmm , interesting :') Fairy tales are make believes , or is that what they want us to think it is ? *grins*

I wished i knew , but hell yeah barbie movies and peter pan rocks (Y) :D

NAH , I'M JUST JOKING .

But barbie movies are really nice to watch you know , some serious shit . The story lines are very interesting and the ending's so unpredictable , LOL . Okay , i'm just bullshitting . That's not why barbie movies are really nice to watch , they just are .

I bet your giving me the : " OMG , ONLY YOU WOULD ENJOY SUCH STUFF " look . Whaaaaaaaaat , cartoon pwns k :) Wait till your old , you'll be regretting so badly for not making full use of your childhood . Hah , i'm making sense (Y) (Y)

Anyways , meet




My two new babies mummy bought me last thursday @ Digital One , Subang Parade before heading off for tuition . I'm so loving them alright :D

Let's see , what else did i do lately ? *scrathes head* Mhmmmm :/


Was suppose to do cny shopping last friday night at pyramid but ended up watching this with the beloved cousin since i fell sick and wasn't in the mood for any shopping . Rate 4/5 , damn funny :D but , i don't have clothes for cny D: D: & it's in a week ! Greeeeeeeaaaaatttttt , roar D:

HMMMMMM , I MISSED MERENTAS DESA D:

& kuning got 4th ? What a bad deteoration la , ftw . I'm not a sports person so i can't say much since i'm no help to kuning at all . But oh , i wish we wouldn't suck that much woi :O

Oh , and i cleaned my room yesterday :D so it's pretty neat and tidy now , so i'm appreciating my room even more :D :D JOM , WHO WANNA SLACK AT MY PLACE DURING CNY ? Hahahahahahhahahaha .

In case your wondering , I'm into yellow these days , that explains the whole yellow blog skin . Like yea right , what a joke ? Pfft , i'm serious . I've got no heck of an idea myself why i used to dislike yellow so much thinking its disgusting 'cause it's the colour of your own pee which reminds me brown sucks 'cause you know it's the colour of your .. OKAY , you get it . But the fact is , yellow isn't that bad . Quite pretty la hor ? Purple still rocks anyways , teehee ! :)

*scrolls up* Woah ! such a long post :O

Anyways , shall go sleep now . Remember to pray that i recover by CNY and that i'll get my CNY shopping done by then k :) Take care & don't fall sick :D God bless all of us , teehee !

LASTLY , I GOT MY HAIR CHOPPED OFF AGAIN BUT WITH RED HIGHLIGHTS THIS TIME :D :D (Y) (Y)

Bye , much loves ♥

People like you are the reason people like me need medication .

i'm not taking drugs , i'm just sick on my bestf's birthday and it feels like hell (N)

i wish i could hold a birthday cake and sing you a happy birthday song in 3 different language right now infront of you , hug you tight in school and shout happy birthday pek seeeeeee with a big wide smile on my face , tell everyone in school that today is my bestf's birthday don't forget to wish her or i'll kill you , spent the best time with you in the afternoon the way you want it to be and make the best out of today since it only comes one a year , & it's your freaking sweet 16 (!!)

yes , a little bit about this picture whether you like it or not . i think its the best picture we took , it's so meaningful , no ? :) if your wondering , or maybe not , i dont care 'cause it isn't really my point (A) we don't need a man (Y) all we need is each other (Y)(Y) if she was a guy , she'll marry me and i'll be hers (Y)(Y)(Y) if i was a guy , i rather be gay than to marry her (Y)(Y)(Y)(Y) awwwwww , aren't you just so touched ?! oh this is go not me gay , let's move on ...

*changes into sad/emo/innocent mood again , pouts*

but instead , i'm here stuck at home feeling ill , coughing my lungs out with a nose block unableing me to breathe wondering what would happen if i didn't fall sick in the first place , double (N)

i hope i didn't ruin your birthday mood , i hoped you had a blast even without me being by your side on this very special day , i hope today would still give you one of the best memories to remember . i know you had an awesome day 'cause you've been having 12 other awesome birthdays even before we met and i promise you this , because you're my beloved pet² i treat you just like my sister , in the next 12 years and heck yeah more to come , you'll be having me as a bestf to wish you the same thing every year no matter what even if you find it disgusting and sick of it on your birthday to make it beawesome instead of only awesome :D things will get better as it comes alright , i'm not a not naughty girl ;) i can do alot of stuff and you know that *evil laughs* i already mentioned in the text message that i don't have to type you a long long message to show you how much i appreciate/love you as a bestf but still thanks for everything &

HAPPY SWEET AWESOME ROCKING SWEET 16 HONEYDEW :D
YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU , 'NOUGH SAID ♥
p/s : although i already mentioned in the text message that i don't have to type you a long long message to show you how much i appreciate/love you as a bestf but still i think this blog post already did . oh man , i guess i just have to show you how much i appreciate/love you as a bestf :P :P

pp/s : I BET MY PARENTS/SISTER/FAMILY ARE SO FREAKING JEALOUS OF YOU (!!) 'cause i don't go writing such disgusting stuff to them , it's just weird :O

Life is like a mirror , we get the best results when we smile at it .

“ It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three muscles to frown . ”

Hello , it's the last day of January already . Time flies really fast , no ? Which reminds me , have you got your baskin robbins ? I have , teehee :D Jamoca Almond Fudge waiting in my freezer (Y) In a few weeks time , we'll be celebrating chinese new year and not long after that we'll be having our first term exams :O Eek . I haven't done much CNY shopping yet , roar . Not to mention those fats i'm still having , urgh . I've been working out so much , dancing , gym & swimming . It doesn't seem to make much of a difference :'( So maybe i lost weight , but it's only a little . I can't go on a diet 'cause i can't resist not eating so i suppose i'll never get to burn all my fats away :( I sometimes wonder how those modals mantain their diet , they really miss out a lot in all those good foods . I pity them :)

Anyways , here's a proper update on :

Friday , 29th of January .

School was pretty much fine :) Was rushing with peksi's card , went round asking for hearts :D Helped eugene with his card too :D












Had interact general meeting :D Nothing much actually , mhmmm . Will let the pictures do the talking ? Hah . Actually , there isn't much pictures either -___________- Oh well , live with it . I've got blogging mood !








Got back and quickly prepared for NOKIA FEATURING BOYS LIKE GIRLS CONCERT @ bukit kiara (!!) ♥ ♥ ♥ :D Went there together with joyce , rouanne , yueesun , boonkeat , jonathan , justin , shanmin & boyf :) Joyce's brother dropped us at the wrong entrance so we had to walk to the other side under the rain :( Thank god we brought umbrellas , roar . We got wet , especially me since yueesun broke my umbrella ! -________________- My shoes were soaking wet , my socks too .






Waited for god knows how long before we could actually enter , luckily we went there early and manage to wait under the roof . It was still raining , so we were blessed for not getting wet like the other late comers ;) We couldn't go in yet , so camwhored .












Only went in @ 7pm , so i suppose we waited for atleast an hour standing ? Mhmmmm . Everyone was so eager to get the Nokia x6 or whatever phone they were giving out instead of actually going in , they were pushing so hard it irritates me and i got so pissed off that my shoes was covered with mud . Pfft ! Some girl cut our queue , roar .











The concert didn't start till it was 8pm . Oh well , malaysians are never punctual anyways -_______- There was this countdown thing . It was super cool , hah ! The DJ opening was amazing , thumbs up i must say :D it was all the other malaysians artist performance after that and there was a performance by some i forgotten what name taiwan artist . Oops , LOL !




Boys Like Girls came out last , roar . By that time , my camera already ran out of battery so i was using shan min's one instead :) It was totaly awesome , way better than MTV World Stage's performance :D maybe 'cause i was really really front ? Credits to those hardcore BLG Fans who keeps pushing me , Hahahah :P i managed to have a less than 5 seconds contact with martin hands since i got pulled back after that and knocked my head D: but still , hell yeah (Y) (Y) It was so worth the wait , and the best part is that it's freaking free :D :D




More picture coming up from shanmin's camera or you can click here for pictures on facebook :)

Saturday , 30th of January .

Finished peksi's birthday card in the morning , it was fab ♥ Mummy helped me with it (Y) Went for dance class after that :) Dropped peksi's card off her place before meeting up with her , cheryl , eugene & hong @ pyramid once class ended . Bumped into edmond and he joined us after that :) Chaksoon too .






























Since it was peksi's surprise b'day night , me , cheryl & chaksoon had to leave early . We left around 6pm since that was the time we were suppose to meet up with the others at starbucks . We kinda gave sucky reasons and went off after that , lol ! Bumped into peksi there , gosh . Everything was in a bloody mess , thank god we manage to pull things off :O She's pretty smart for a dumb girl you know :P I had to lie so hard , omg . You have no idea ! I won't go into details 'cause it's pretty much a grandmother story :O




Anyways , after meeting up with quince , miyi & david . We took a cab to peksi's place since it was raining . Guess what ? Her mum wasn't in and chaksoon had to climb in open the gate ran out to pay taxi fee and run back in after that under the rain . Awwww , thank you :D Started calling people and ordered dominos after that :) It was a last minute thing la , lol !

YOU GUYS DO KNOW THAT THE ACTUAL PLAN FAILED RIGHT ?!
thanks to , coughs , kcy la _l_






We weren't exactly fully prepared and peksi called her mum and told her they were walking back already . I freaked out , LOL ! We all freaking did :O We decorated the cake with M&M's , it sucked :'( But who cares , she still got surprised & cried (Y) :) Camera was used to take a video of the whole surprise thing so no pictures of her crying was taken , but the video didn't turn out either 'cause i suck :( Urgh , forget about it . Let's not bring that up ever again k ? :( We watched 999-9999 after that , one stupid horror movie alright . Everyone left aroudn 10ish . We had a great time , or atleast i did :D Not much pictures taken but oh well , it's the memories that counts :)










THANK YOU ALL for making this whole party a success :D

especially quince , emin , miyi , chaksoon , david , cheen chun , leslie , leslei , hong , edmond , eugene & sean ♥ One month of planning failed , but still this last minute one week planning kinda sort of succeed la (Y) :)

Click here for more pictures on facebook :)


Dear peksee , i hope you enjoyed your surprise party , it's not great but i tried my best to put together this surprise party for you ♥ I seriously planned this for way way way long k :'( Thanks to that certain someone la , orelse it would be a bomb . Still , it was awesome kan ? Well , looking forward to next week's actual sweet 16 celebration together with you :D

Okay , my blogging english sucks . I've got no idea how to put thoughts into words anymore , roar ! Ran out of words , bye ♥

Forgiveness means letting go of the past .

DOMOKUN IS VERY MUCH LOVED ♥
SO IS HELLO KITTY & ELMO :D

- eminey fox ; alyssa posh & enn swift .
Hello ,

I know it's been long since i last had a decent update , there's much going on . You've got no heck of an idea how bitchy life is being with me these days :'( I've never in my 15 years of life felt so depressed ever before , this seriously sucks ! Roar . School's home work(s) been such a pain in the ass , not to mention all those activities i'm packed with . I can't even find the time to online , that explains being MIA on msn , eek . We've been having so many relief periods , lol . Tons of camwhore sessions as well , click here for pictures on facebook or here for enn's blog :)

Anyways , i've been working on peksi's surprise sweet 16 for the past few weeks you see , i've been counting down the days since a month ago . Everything was planned so entirely well ! It could have been the best surprise party ever seriously , everyone said so . Everything was done so secretly and peksi never suspected anything but it turned out to be a whole throw down since some ass couldn't keep his damn mouth shut . Loser , i know :O so what if it was an accident , which part of not bloody mentioning it in school don't you understand ? I swear this made me so pissed off , i lost my temper and would always burst into tears so easily whenever someone asks me about it . Thank god everyone was understanding enough to bare with me , i've got such awesome friends (Y) Well , cried over it , got over it . Look's like it's going to be just another simple outing this year for her , i'm such a failure .

Oh well , life's a never ending drama anyways :)
It could have been way worst , hmm .

Despite the fact that i've been so reluctant to use my phone nowadays , my phone bill is still going to be a bomb . All those calls / text messages are starting to freak me out (N) I'm sorry if i've worried anyone of you by not talking / replying and all , i know i'm not being myself again lately . Well , as i've said , there's much going on . So much , i can barely stand it anymore . It's not that i'm always so negative , i'm trying to be optimistic k ! I just can't , LOL . At least not now , gosh . Who in the world would be happy about their life falling apart and yet having no idea how to put them back together .

This blog is pretty much going to die soon so i suggest you find some other way interesting blogs to read . Mhmmmm , i'm sorry for the big disappointment :)

I CAN'T COPE WITH FORM 4 , yet .
therefore i've failed you by neglecting my blog :O

till then , much loves .

And love is all there is .

Happy Birthday Couz ♥ :D
may all your wishes come true , with loves .

Just so you know .

Went to mv during lunch for audrey's farewell , band & tuition after that :O
Just got back home , it's been a really long day .
So yeah , bye :D

Turn me on .

I'll update when i update ♥